Jacinda Ardern Gave Us Permission to Do the One Thing We Always Avoid

In January 2023, Jacinda Ardern stood before the world and did something that stunned many—not because it was scandalous or sensational, but because it was so deeply human.

She resigned from her role as Prime Minister of New Zealand, saying simply:

“I know what this job takes. And I know that I no longer have enough in the tank to do it justice. It’s that simple.”

Those words hit me like a wave. And I know I’m not the only one.

For those of us living with chronic illness, especially those of us who’ve stepped into leadership roles, they were nothing short of revolutionary. In just a few sentences, Ardern reframed what it means to be strong. She reminded the world that self-awareness, vulnerability, and kindness are not just personal values—they are leadership skills. Life skills. Survival skills.

If a Prime Minister can say “I need to stop”… can’t we?

People with chronic illness often live in the tension between wanting to do meaningful work and needing to manage our health. We’ve spent years proving ourselves. Proving we deserve to be at the table. Proving we can keep up. Proving we’re not weak.

We stretch. We adapt. We dig deep into already-dry wells.

But Jacinda’s words cracked something open.

She didn’t leave in disgrace. She didn’t “fail.” She didn’t collapse.

She made a calm, grounded decision based on what her body and mind were telling her, and the world didn’t fall apart. In fact, she was widely respected for it.

That moment gave all of us permission to pause. To notice the signals. To let go, not with guilt, but with grace.

Kindness is not a footnote to leadership—it is leadership

One of Jacinda Ardern’s most enduring legacies is her mantra: “You can be strong and you can be kind.”

As someone with a chronic illness, those words are a balm. The world often rewards push-through culture, toxic productivity, and relentless resilience. But here was a world leader saying the opposite: that leadership rooted in compassion and honesty is not soft or lesser—it’s bold, rare, and deeply needed.

It’s especially needed for people like us, people whose bodies and minds have been shaped by health conditions, surgeries, uncertainty, and fatigue. People who’ve had to learn how to lead differently. Quietly. Creatively. With limits, and love.

To lead well, we must live well

One of the biggest lessons chronic illness teaches us is how to listen: to our bodies, to our boundaries, to our energy. It teaches us that pushing through has a cost, and sometimes the real strength is in not pushing.

When we lead from that place, not from obligation or overwork, but from alignment, we model something powerful. We model a version of leadership that is honest. Sustainable. Human.

Jacinda Ardern has now joined the ranks of those rare leaders who show us how to lead without burning out, how to step aside with dignity, and how to protect the parts of ourselves that matter most.

What this means for you, for us

So, here’s the reminder, in case you needed it today:

🧡 If you’re tired, you’re not failing.
🧡 If you’re choosing rest over hustle, you’re not lazy.
🧡 If you’re stepping back, you’re not giving up.

You are honouring your limits, your truth, your health. And there is nothing more courageous than that.

As someone who lives with chronic illness, has led teams, created businesses, and navigated the unrelenting pressure to always be “on,” I needed Jacinda’s words more than I realised all those years ago. Maybe you did too.

Let them sink in. Let them soften you. Let them be a permission slip.

Because when one of the world’s most high-profile leaders can say, “I just didn’t have enough in the tank,” and be applauded for it, then so can we.

And we’ll be better for it.

P.S.

Adulting Well was started to give people, just like you, more knowledge so you could make the best choices possible – even with chronic illness.

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